Added: Kaylene Kimball - Date: 12.03.2022 12:09 - Views: 22625 - Clicks: 1196
I have been broken up with approximately four times in my entire life. Which is great, but just not right for me. My heart felt like it was a sponge, getting squeezed by the hand of someone I was starting to fall madly in love with. But the fourth breakup was the one that broke my heart in an unusually painful way.
I wanted to make sure I heard these words correctly. My best friend stood there, on the corner of the street, clasped her hands over her mouth and shut her eyes. Just Best f friend wanted before this moment, she and I could be caught laughing in the backseat of Ubers, coming home from Friday nights out, dancing to Bruno Mars while cooking weekday pasta dinnersand traveling to Orlando for Halloween Horror Nights.
There were hardly any warning s. The month before she seemed distant, cold and hardly answered me back when I texted or called. My heart skydived to the pit of my Best f friend wanted. I begged for an answer as to why. I begged to fix whatever I had done wrong. But she didn't have anything to tell me. No reason. No explanation. Just that the friendship was over. And as she turned away and left, I sobbed on the corner of Fifth Avenue, and for many days after, even now, almost a year later, my heart aches as I write this.
It can be worse than a romantic breakup because you feel like you lost your sidekick, your go-to person, your safety blanket. Not only could this be why it hits harder, but it also leaves us mentally unprepared to handle the situation. Which is why, when it happens, it can feel all sorts of uncomfortable.
Benjamin Ritter, founder of Live for Yourself Consulting and The Breakup Supplement, says that losing a close friend can feel like you are losing a part of yourself and that there are a few immediate things you can do to help yourself heal. The more I told people other friends and co-workers what happened to me, the more I realized that not only was I not alone, but that plenty of people have been on both side of the conversation, even as the friendship enders.
The other technique she suggests is talking about the bigger picture and explaining your decision. Almost a year later, I think about that ex-best friend on a weekly basis and wonder what I did to make her want to end our friendship. While I may never get my answers, the experience has been a learning opportunity, reminding me to continue to put effort into being a good friend to those I care about in my life, and teaching me what not to do should the time come when I am the one doing the unfriending.
Want more tips like these? IE 11 is not supported. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. Share this —. Follow better. Social cues How to know when it's time to break up with a friend. Box up the old memories.
But this time, it meant getting rid of clothing that I borrowed from that person, pictures that were all over social media, and even birthday gifts that were given to me. It was hard to let these things go, but what was even harder was unfriending her on social media. Unfriending her online was the right thing to do since she pressed the unfriend button offline. Stay busy.
The next thing that Ritter advises is to fill up your free time. If you don't, you may find yourself feeling lonely and focusing on the fact that your friend decided to move on. Next to their names I wrote down one nice thing I could do for them that month and also reached out to make plans with them, whether in-person if they lived nearby or via Skype if they lived far away, to make sure that our friendship was maintained. After losing a close friend, I wanted to do everything I could to make myself a better friend to those that I cared about.
The last thing Ritter advises is the hardest.
It's not personal and has little to do with who you are, more so, who your friend wants to be. This helped me understand that quite possibly, one of the reasons why I was broken up with was because our lives were moving in different directions and we shared different values when it came to friendship.
What's the best way to break up with a friend?Best f friend wanted
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From Best Friends to Platonic Spouses